So You Think You Can Dance: Federation Edition
by Lanesy
Summary: It's So You Think You Can Dance. Enterprise-style. For the Season Premiere, the judges have decided to kick things off on home-turf, United Earth, holding auditions in LA and San Francisco. Ensemble Cast. Bones co-hosts. Lots of Kirk. Implied S/U.


**A/N:** So last week this cracktastic idea took a hold of me and won't let go. SYTYCD is one of my all time favourite shows, and as I was watching this season I couldn't help but let my love for this show sneak up on my ST fandom. This will be a continuing story with hopefully the full 23 "episodes". And because I take writing my humour very seriously (lulz, stealth!pun...), even the transcript disclaimer is parodied, so don't feel obligated to read that part. However, this is just for fun, and sort of a present to my best friend since she loves this stuff as much as I do. If you love Star Trek, both new and old fans, there are plenty of goodies in here for you. If you love SYTYCD, then there's lots of lol-tastic-isms in there for you as well. And, well, if you're a fan of both like me, you can only imagine.

As for the length of it, I really hadn't realized till I started writing it how much work actually went into a script, and it may not seem like it but there's a lot I had to cut out. I figured this was going to be an easy task to take on, and it's not. In fact, it's been very much the opposite. but I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment of writing this, and will continue to write it in my spare time. Keep looking out for more serious fic from me as well, I still have plenty planned. But for now...just sit back and enjoy.

_Izzie, my love, and my dearest Al. This is for you._

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**SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE: FEDERATION EDITION  
s04e01 – UNITED EARTH AUDITONS – SEASON PREMIERE**  
ORIGINAL AIRDATE: STARDATE 2257.142 1900 HOURS EST (FOX)

ORIGINALLY TRANSCRIBED BY LANESY OF FANFICTION DOT NET

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DISCLAIMER:  
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The following is not a novelization or an actual script but a dry transcript of the aired episode that includes accurate word-to-word dialogues, settings descriptions, action scenes and/or camera movements where the transcriber felt they were necessary. "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE: FEDERATION EDITION" and other related entities are owned, (TM) and © by 24th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION. This transcript is posted here without their permission, approval, authorization or endorsement. Any reproduction, duplication, distribution or display of this material in any form or by any means is expressly prohibited. It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain. For entertainment and educational purposes only. No infringement intended.

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TRANSCRIPT:  
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_**SCENE: Deep Space. A baritone instrument plays ominously slow music softly in the background. As the camera focuses, a blurred, dimly nebula-like image begins to take form. A black hole. Cue voiceover.**_

CAT DEELEY: Space. The Final Frontier. Three years ago, when the _phenomenal_ reinvention of 21st Century Fox's hit television series began, we set out on a mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life, and new civilizations. To _boldly_ go...and find the Federation's _favourite _dancer_. _

_**Camera pans across the depths of space to reveal a small 24**__**th**__** Century shuttle, careening with purpose through the vacuum. Screen bursts with the revamped SYTYCD logo and then fades to black, then the words '**_**SEASON ONE**_**' fade onto the screen.**_

DEELEY: Since then, _your_ votes have crowned _three_ winners.

_**Scene cuts to a slow motion clip of the back of a pale-skinned, dark haired man, his head cocking to the side robotically before turning to face the crowd, seemingly emotionless android eyes panning out into the depths of people. Then, as if on a cue, his face lights up as he bursts into dance, tapping his way across the stage.**_

VOICEOVER: Lieutenant Commander DATA...congratulations. _You_ are our champion.

_**As the crowd cheers in the background to a clip of Captain Jean-Luc Picard slapping his subordinate on the back and clapping in earnest, the screen cuts to 'SEASON TWO', a clip of a humbled Odo standing next to a proud Worf, both waiting patiently, but on bated breath.**_

VOICEOVER: The _winner _of _So You Think You Can Dance: Deep Space Nine_ is...Mr. Worf.

_**The crowd goes wild as Odo turns to his comrade, the camera zooming in on Worf standing tall with his shoulders back, looking slightly overwhelmed even for a Klingon. The screen fades again, this time to 'SEASON THREE', and then to a scene of Q dancing Broadway with Captain Janeway. Fade to CAT DEELEY nervously holding up the last results card of the season.**_

DEELEY: After a record-breaking twelve _billion_ votes, the Federation's _favourite _dancer is...Q.

_**Cut to a clip of Q standing next to Janeway, both of them looking surprised before Q breaks into a gloriously childlike grin, covered in confetti. Screen fades to black once again, the ominous music growing slightly louder as the scene changes back to the shuttle traveling through space. Cue voiceover.**_

DEELEY: After three un-_believable_ seasons, we began to wonder...was this the end of our journey?

_**Camera pans past the shuttle, to reveal its destination. The black hole.**_

DEELEY: ...We didn't think so either.

_**SCENE: WORMHOLE.**_

DEELEY: Now...we're taking it o_ld school._

_**Boisterous light and energetic music flood the screen, as CAT DEELEY prances down a long line of screaming, excited potential contestants in Starfleet uniforms, waiting in the rain. She waves her arms frantically in excitement for them before the music stops abruptly with a scratch, her expression falling serious as she blinks at the man now standing in her way. The camera pans on him and he turns to the lens, shaking his head with wild eyes.**_

LEONARD MCCOY: ...I think you're all insane.

_**DEELEY grins slowly and shuffles up to him, linking her arm with his as he scowls down at her.**_

DEELEY: Now, _Bones. _ You promised to be a good co-host.

_**MCCOY gives her an indignant, wide glare, his country twang prominent as he waves his free arm.**_

MCCOY: I was _bamboozled_!

_**DEELEY grins at the camera as the line of contestants burst back into ravenous cheers. MCCOY rolls his eyes.**_

DEELEY: He's so adorable.

_**Cue voiceovers as the scene fast forwards and cuts to contestants piling into the Neo-Orpheum Theatre.**_

DEELEY: We've traveled _back_ in time, to where the phenomenon _truly_ began--

MCCOY: --and messing _everything_ up, godda--

DEELEY: --_back_ to the mid Twenty-Third Century to bring you _more_ thrills--

_**Cut to a clip of an Andorian breakdancing, MARY MURPHY screaming prominently in the background.**_

DEELEY: --more _spills_--

_**Cut to a montage of various Terran contestants practicing and falling after pirouettes and leg lifts gone awry, contestant after contestant slipping and sliding on both the practice floor and audition stage.**_

DEELEY: --and more talent than _any_ other show on Federation Broadcast.

MCCOY: Not to mention the most cockamamie--

DEELEY: _Bones._

_**Cut to another montage of Terrans, Vulcans and other humanoid species alike, all executing their most impressive moves for the judges, the ominous music rising in the background.**_

DEELEY: We've searched all over for the best of the best. The most dynamic jazz dancers; the most graceful contemporary dancers; the sexiest ballroom dancers; and the most _spectacular _breakers.

MCCOY: How'n the hell are they doing that, by the way. I don't understand...

DEELEY: There are other dance shows, but _none_ with this level of skill, and this range of styles. It's the biggest search for dancers _ever. _We've traveled the planets, auditioning _thousands. _And not everyone made the grade.

_**Cut to montage of very bad auditions.**_

MCCOY: I could have done better blindfolded. And three sheets to the wind. That was some terrible shit, Cat, don't make me sit through that again.

DEELEY: Shh, it's alright there, Bones.

_**Cut to one particularly horrendous salsa audition. Cut to executive producer and judge NIGEL LITHGOE, waving for the music to stop.**_

LITHGOE: Woah, woah, okay, I can't see anymore, that was just horrible. I don't know what you're here for, you're just here as a joke.

_**Cut to more bad auditions, and then to choreographer and judge TYCE DIORIO.**_

DIORIO: It's disrespectful.

_**Cut to disgruntled Tellarite contestant facing off with judge MARY MURPHY.**_

TELLARITE: _You're _delusional.

MURPHY: You wanna get in my face?

LITHGOE: Don't even classify yourself as a loser, you're just a shitty dancer.

_**Cue voiceovers.**_

DEELEY: And not everyone left happy.

MCCOY: I have to say, I like this Nigel guy_._

_**Cut to a montage of crying, upset, rejected contestants. And one disappointed Vulcan trying to keep her emotions at bay.**_

VULCAN: I executed my style of dance to the best of my ability. If it was logical...to...

_**She pauses to take a deep breath and stare somewhat blankly at the camera, never finishing her statement. Cut to angry New York Terran striding purposely down the street.**_

TERRAN: **** these people!

_**Cut back to montage of amazing auditions and effortless techniques.**_

DEELEY: But dancer after dancer brought their _best_ moves and battled it out for a ticket to our next round of auditions in Las Vegas, on Earth.

_**Cut to NIGEL LITHGOE speaking seriously to a contestant.**_

LITHGOE: You are _exactly _what we're looking for in this competition.

MURPHY: Straight through to Vegas!

_**Contestant(s) cheer as one by one they earn their tickets.**_

TERRAN GIRL: I'm going to Vegas!

ANDORIAN BREAKER: Vegas, baby!

MCCOY: Cat, are we shuttling to Vegas?

DEELEY: We are indeed!

MCCOY: ...I need a drink.

STARFLEET CADET: Hell yeah! All the way to _Vegas_!

_**Cut back to audition clips and voiceover.**_

DEELEY: In the end, only _twenty_ will make it to our studio stage to face _your_ votes, as once again _you_ decide who wins the title of the Federation's Favourite Dancer!

_**Cut to CAT DEELEY, standing proudly in front of Starfleet Headquarters' prominent entrance arch in San Francisco, with LEONARD MCCOY standing next to her, looking a little sick to his stomach.**_

DEELEY: Welcome, to _SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE!_

MCCOY: Oh, _God._

_**Cue violin music and opening sequence.**_

_**SCENE: Montage of Terran cities, including Sydney, London, St. Petersburg, Cairo, Brasil, New York City and San Francisco. Cue voiceover.**_

DEELEY: We thought we'd kick off Season Four on home turf in San Francisco and Los Angeles. After touring some of the major cities on the planet, we've recruited literally _thousands_ of contestants and shuttled them here to the Neo-Orpheum.

_**Cut to CAT DEELEY and LEONARD MCCOY standing at the front of a (potentially disastrous) long line with a projection device. DEELEY turns the device on with zeal, and MCCOY jumps at the feedback.**_

MCCOY: Jesus Christ--

DEELEY: Alright everybody! The time has come! Are you ready?!

_**The crowd goes insane with cheering, backed up for blocks.**_

DEELEY: Three! Two! One! _Go!_

_**The contestants begin to file in, nearly running over MCCOY in the process.**_

MCCOY: Cat, this is hazardous to my health. In all seriousness.

_**DEELEY hops to him with a grin, unphased. Cut to a shot of the contestants lining up inside the Neo-Orpheum's vast lobby, registering for their audition numbers, warming up and filing into the actual theatre.**_

DEELEY: Once the first group of contestants had taken their seats in the theatre, the judges arrived. In Los Angeles, executive producer Nigel Lithgoe and ballroom expert Mary Murphy were joined by contemporary choreographer Mia Michaels. Mia has worked with everyone from Celine Dion to Madonna and Prince.

MCCOY: Which doesn't necessarily attest to her _sanity._

DEELEY: Bones, darling, are you just going to interject with snarky witticisms, or are you going to contribute?

MCCOY: Well since that's what I'm getting a deal for, Cat, I guess I've got no choice _but_ to contribute.

DEELEY: _(laughs)_ That's the spirit. Why don't you tell them how the auditions work.

_**Cut to LITHGOE, MURPHY and MICHAELS filing into their chairs near the stage, stopping for a moment to wave and smile at the cheering contestants behind them.**_

MCCOY: _(audible groan)_ Alright, listen up because I'm only going to say this once. You get up on the stage, you dance the shit out of the music, if you're good you go to Vegas. If you suck―and there's a bunch of people that sucked this year--

DEELEY: --oh don't say that Bones!

MCCOY: --If you _suck_, Cat, you take your ass home, better luck next year. Which I definitely intend to not be around for.

DEELEY: You forgot one thing.

MCCOY: Oh, yeah, yeah. If the judges don't know what the hell to do with you, you gotta stick around and do choreography. Frankly, I'd rather just accept the fact that I blew it and get sent home. Get some sleep. _Reevaluate my life._

DEELEY: _(affectionately)_ I don't think you mean that, I think part of you is enjoying pretending being this miserable.

MCCOY: _(deadpan)_ Who's pretending?

_**Cut to a young woman walking up on stage as the crowd quiets down and the judges prepare to make notes.**_

DEELEY: First up is Zahra Jamal.

LITHGOE: And...cue music.

_**Energetic, guitar heavy music rumbles from the speakers, as JAMAL stands with her back to the judges, waiting. Cut to shot of the judges watching blankly. Cut back to JAMAL, still waiting. Cut back to the judges, LITHGOE turning to share a look with MURPHY. Cut back to JAMAL―still waiting. LITHGOE raises his hand.**_

LITHGOE: And...cut. _(he pauses, pursing his lips slightly and blinking)_ I'd like to see a little more dancing than that, I really would.

_**MURPHY and MICHAELS laugh a little as JAMAL turns to face them.**_

LITHGOE: Was that not the right music for you darling? Okay.

_**He turns and makes sure the sound guys are getting it correct this time.**_

LITHGOE: Alright, Zahra, we've got the thumbs up; let's hope we've got it sorted this time. _(laughs)_ Cue music.

_**A much softer song begins to play and after only a moment of pause to catch her cue, JAMAL comes to life with a slow contemporary piece. The judges watch her without much emotion, a very critical eye, and after a minute, LITHGOE cuts the music. The other contestants clap for their peer as she makes her way to the microphone, catching her breath.**_

LITHGOE: Absolutely sensational. I mean you feel it with your body, you've got _incredible _technique. Um...you are going to be a dancer that the choreographers are going to want to get their hands on, because you give them _so_ many opportunities of creating things with the facility that you provide for them, which is your body.

JAMAL: _(humble smile)_ Thank you.

LITHGOE: You're marvelous, congratulations. Mary?

MURHPY: I can't believe it. I'm just so happy and appreciate you today, thank you so much. I think you're great.

JAMAL: Thank you so much.

MICHAELS: _(grinning) _I can't even imagine what you would be like if you did stay on the show until the end, because if you're this good now? It's...it'll be _stupid. _You'll be _stupid._

JAMAL: _(laughs and blushes) _Thank you!

LITHGOE: You know what _isn't_ stupid really about three people who think you're great? Is that...they produce something like this.

_**LITHGOE reaches and holds up a shuttle pass.**_

LITHGOE: And that is called a ticket to Vegas.

_**JAMAL hops and claps excitedly as she receives praise and cheering from her peers in the audience, making her way off stage to collect the shuttle pass.**_

LITHGOE: And you're _stupid_ if you don't take this!

_**Cut to JAMAL bursting through the theatre doors, screaming excitedly and dancing wildly. Cue voiceover.**_

DEELEY: So it looks like the Earth auditions were off to a promising start--

MCCOY: But let's be honest, Cat, they didn't really stay promising.

DEELEY: Well I suppose it wouldn't be So You _Think_ You Can Dance if they did, right?

MCCOY: If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to out-smartass me, Cat.

DEELEY: I'm not sure that's possible, Bones! But that doesn't mean some of our _contestants _didn't give it a try.

_**Cut to a broad-shouldered, burly and bald Starfleet Cadet taking the stage, cracking his neck and putting on his best scowl to get ready for his audition. **_

LITHGOE: Cue music.

_**The music is a heavy hitting rap beat, and the judges immediately perk up in their chairs, ready for a spectacular audition. The cadet starts moving to the beat in what should have been seen as a hard hitting hip-hop groove, but it was clearly a half-second off beat, propelling his moves into a less than confident sequence that left MIA MICHAELS hiding her mouth behind her hand, taking long blinks of lazy dissatisfaction as the cadet struggles to keep up through the rest of his audition. There is a mix of hip-hop and an attempt at krumping, then breaking, but his tricks don't follow through and he mostly ends up flopping on the floor, struggling to catch his breath. LITHGOE stops the music just before the minute marker and motions the cadet to the mic.**_

LITHGOE: Thank you. Stacey, is it? Stacey Warrington...it says here you have a _street_ name.

CADET: _(squares his shoulders in an intimidating manner at the mic) _They call me Cupcake.

_**LITHGOE blinks and shares a look with MURPHY and MICHAELS. MURPHY shakes her head and starts laughing, while MICHAELS just simply looks amused but displeased.**_

LITHGOE: Well far be it for me to question the streets, Cupcake. _(gapes at him for a minute) _You're a big guy! When you got up on that stage, I expected so much more, just from the look of your shoulders. There wasn't enough upper body strength there I'm afraid, your tricks were a lot like watching a...a beached _whale_ flop around.

CUPCAKE: _(looks perturbed and confused) _A what?

LITHGOE: _(blinks, startled)_ A...a whale? You _do _know what a _whale _is...

MURPHY: _(mutters) _I think they're extinct here, Nigel.

LITHGOE: You've got to be kidding me, what is the future coming to... _(straightens his papers) _That just wasn't very good I'm afraid. I expected a lot more. Mia.

MICHAELS: Yeah, I'm left feeling just a little disappointed. I mean the way you walked on the stage, I expected you to tear the place up, I was a little afraid actually, but you just...you're this harmless kitten.

MURPHY: _(mutters) _Tribble.

MICHAELS: Tribble. _(laughs and turns to her colleague) _What the hell, Mary.

MURPHY: _(laughs) _I saw one the other day, they're strange.

MICHAELS: God...okay so you're a tribble. Harmless and strange, and we wanted to see more. You didn't deliver. _(shrugs)_

MURPHY: You look surprised.

CUPCAKE: Yeah, I am, I think I did pretty damn good.

MURPHY: _(the camera pans in on her face where her eye twitches slightly even though she's grinning) _I've seen two year olds do better, I'm sorry. That just isn't going to cut it. I'd feel bad for you if I thought you were nervous or something, but you--

CUPCAKE: Oh so now I'm a two year old, too. _(points in accusation)_ I didn't come here to be insulted.

LITHGOE: Now you're just being rude. We're critiquing you no differently than we would anyone else who had just gone up there and given us what you did, and we're sorry if you're upset, but the truth hurts. _Cupcake_. It sounds to me like you've got some _personal _issues to work through.

CUPCAKE: You know, I've seen your stupid show. You three wouldn't know talent if you saw it.

LITHGOE: Then why are you _here_? I think you need to leave the stage.

_**CUPCAKE scowls and grabs the microphone, shoving it off the stage before giving the judges the bird and sauntering off. MURPHY, looking visibly shaken for a moment, turns to LITHGOE and shakes her head, eyes wide.**_

MURPHY: What on Earth kind of people are they letting in to Starfleet, my goodness. What a tantrum.

_**Cut to CUPCAKE exiting the theatre, refusing violently to talk to the cameras, though not without first providing half a shot of what looks like him crying. Cue voiceover.**_

MCCOY: Pain in the ass.

DEELEY: But nothing is more wounded than his pride now, as Cupcake heads back to Starfleet with no ticket, and according to judges, no talent. We're going to take a short break, but when we come back--

_**Cut to another clip of a man with long, wavy hair, crooked teeth and glasses sidling up next to DEELEY.**_

DEELEY: ...I get cozy with Sex. But can he go all the way with the judges?

MCCOY: Puns like that should be illegal.

DEELEY: Oh shush, you. Then--

_**Cut to a montage of brilliant pop-and-lock dancers.**_

DEELEY: --things get jumpy when our poppers take the stage. Stay tuned and find out what happens when dancers--

_**Cut to a clip of a man attempting to dance in nothing but white brief underwear, MARY MURPHY looking decidedly embarrassed and not impressed at all.**_

DEELEY: --let it _all _hang out.

_**Cue show theme and cut to commercial.  


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_**[ COMMERCIAL BREAK ]**_

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**_

_**Cue show theme. Cut to montage of dancers still waiting in line and some highlighted areas of the city.**_

DEELEY: Welcome back to the Earth auditions! The sun is out, thousands of dancers are in line, and are in high spirits!

MCCOY: Some of them are possibly drunk. I checked.

DEELEY: _(laughs) _I bet you did. Despite a mixed start, even the judges seem to be enjoying themselves.

_**Cut to a clip of LITHGOE, MURPHY and MICHAELS talking and laughing.**_

DEELEY: If only they knew who was in town.

_**Cut to a clip of DAVID KENNETH SOLLER aka SEX and his MOTHER waiting in line outside the Neo-Orpheum.**_

SOLLER AND MOTHER: _(both raise their arms and grin) _We love it!

_**Cut to SOLLER, interview style.**_

SOLLER: Hi, I'm Sex. And I'm 21 years old, plus I'm from Smithtown, New York and I'm a student. My mom...is like my biggest fan. She is very encouraging.

_**Cut to a clip of his MOTHER talking to the camera.**_

MOTHER: He'll interview inside. He just feels more relaxed doing that, okay?

_**Cut to DEELEY and MCCOY both sitting with SOLLER, MCCOY actually seeming subdued this time, keeping his eyes focused on the wall, possibly to keep his own comments from digging him a hole.**_

DEELEY: So how many years is this?

SOLLER: _(grins sheepishly) _This is...the third year.

DEELEY: The third year. So why back on the third year?

SOLLER: I was on...second season. I did two years in a row.

DEELEY: Mmhmm.

SOLLER: The first season I...did very good, I was almost to Vegas.

_**MCCOY looks like he is nearly in pain, struggling not to comment. Cut to a flashback clip of SOLLER at his first audition, and the horrible lack of technique or rhythm. LITHGOE literally putting his head on his desk and not looking up again until SOLLER is finished. **_

LITHGOE: I am not sure you should be allowed _out _by yourself...

_**Cut back to present day SOLLER, DEELEY and MCCOY.**_

SOLLER: Last year, the second year that I participated, season three, I did very well--

_**Cut to a flashback of SOLLER's second audition, slightly better this time around but still horrendous.**_

LITHGOE: I don't know what you _want._

SOLLER: I wanna be a dancer.

LITHGOE: You will not be a dancer on this _planet_.

_**Cut back to present day SOLLER, DEELEY and MCCOY.**_

DEELEY: _(gently dumbfounded) _And you're back for more. Why?

SOLLER: _(remains silent, but tries to smile, as if contemplating that very question)_

MCCOY: _(coughs, then hold up his hand quickly, genuinely appalled at himself) _Sorry. Sorry...

_**Cut to SOLLER taking the stage for this year's audition.**_

MURPHY: _(mutters) _He's doing jazz today...

MICHAELS: ...oh Lord...

LITHGOE: And...cue music.

_**As the music starts, SOLLER starts with a hip grind and a flailing of the arms, trying his best to grin for the judges as he moves awkwardly to the music, a remix of retro Ricky Martin. He attempts a pirouette, which MURPHY comments on in the background, before segueing into squats, lunges and arm poses. He turns, runs around the stage a little earning him some sympathetic, supporting cheers from his peers before doing the process all over again. Cut to a shot of the judges. MICHAELS is smiling, but more amused than impressed. LITHGOE cuts the music and motions for SOLLER to come to the microphone.**_

MURPHY: Ohhh, mercy. Sex is back! _(reaches for a sip of her drink)_

LITHGOE: _(smiles) _Mia.

MICHAELS: Well, I have to say that from last year to this year there's been no growth. From the first year--

MURPHY: What are you talking about?!

MICHAELS: --to the second, to the third season, I actually―because I wasn't at the audition, I saw it on television, and I was like "Oh my God, he's growing! He's getting really good!" and, um...

LITHGOE: _(cannot hold in his laughter at her statement, causing his colleagues to laugh with him)_

MURPHY: _Can you believe she just said that?! (boisterous laughter) _Somebody get some help! She's not feeling well!

MICHAELS: No, I'm going to be totally honest! I remember watching it in my room, and I was just like, "You know what, he's improving--" _(she throws a hand over Mary's obnoxious laughter and shushes her)_ "--he's improving"--don't listen to them because you actually _did_ improve to me and...I don't know how many glasses of wine I might have drank _before_ that but...

LITHGOE: _(lets out another laugh)_

MICHAELS: _However._ I will tell you that...I would miss you every season if you weren't auditioning. I don't think you have grown very much from last season to this season though so...

MURPHY: _(pats Mia's hand sympathetically)_

MICHAELS: ...I'm sorry.

LITHGOE: Mary.

MURPHY: Well I gotta get real here. Um...a couple different moves? I'll give you that, Sex. However. This _really_ is a joke. There is no _dancing _going on up there, and I can appreciate that Mia sees your growth and felt possibly was really good at some point..._(trails off into laughter)_

MICHAELS: _(laughing) _No I didn't, no.

MURPHY: Didn't she say that, Nigel?

LITHGOE: Yeah, she did say that.

MICHAELS: Did I say that?

MURPHY: Yeah you said "really good"; wait till you watch the playback, you're going to be horrified. Um...

LITHGOE: As are all your dancers.

MURPHY: Yeah. So it's not anywhere close and I fail to really see the improvement.

MICHAELS: Do you ever take any ballet class?

SOLLER: Yes I have..._(sighs) _many years of extensive formal training, many, many years of formal workshops, competitions, training and experience. Many, many years.

MICHAELS: _(looks surprised and gets serious with him)_ Who are you training with? Honestly? Because if you had a good teacher, you _would_ be growing.

SOLLER: I train with...many master choreographers and teachers in the country.

LITHGOE: You must just enjoy watching yourself look stupid on television, because that's what you continue to do. And not just on this program, I've seen you audition on other programs too. You _just_ like watching yourself on television. That's all it is. And I'm not going to bother calling you Sex anymore either. Your name is David, and that's what you should be called because there's nothing sexy about you.

SOLLER: My fans believe in me, my fans believe I'm sexy, my fans believe my moves are sexy.

LITHGOE: You've been following us for _years,_ David! Through space _and_ time! Do you _really _want to continue like this for the rest of your life?

SOLLER: I believe in myself, I have confidence in myself. I'm here doing what I love to do, I'm a dancer, I'm dancing right now, here, on this planet--

LITHGOE: No sir, you're not, you're moving, you're not dancing. Thank you.

_**SOLLER moves to leave the stage.**_

LITHGOE: I don't know why you bother coming, I really don't.

_**Cut to SOLLER exiting the theatre. Cue voiceover.**_

DEELEY: So Sex walks out, hoping to blast off from Planet Earth, but I have a feeling this isn't the last we've heard of him.

MCCOY: It never is.

DEELEY: Unfortunately, Sex wasn't the only one to leave disappointed.

_**Cut to a montage of mediocre and bad auditions.**_

DEELEY: As dancer after dancer took the stage, the judges seemed to begin to lose faith in the future, if _this _was all it was going to produce for the dancing world. Hoping to sway the judges back to side of hope, for more reasons than one--

_**Cut to a slightly older but dignified looking man and his dark haired dance partner grooving out on the street, swing dance style.**_

DEELEY: Was Starfleet Captain Christopher Pike, and his partner...Number One.

_**PIKE and N. ONE pose smoothly for the camera. Cut to formal interview style.**_

PIKE: My name is Christopher Pike, I _am_ a Captain at Starfleet, and--_(he looks over at his partner who smirks at him)--_on _occasion―_I like to go dancing to relieve the stress. But I'm _here_ today to mostly set an example. We get a lot of rabble that try to come through Starfleet just like they do here, so I wanted to come today and set a standard of conduct for our cadets.

_**Cut to the informal interview where DEELEY is laughing heartily at MCCOY's reaction over having to interview his superior officer.**_

MCCOY: Sir. _(straightens and doesn't know whether to salute him or not) _I...uh...

PIKE: _(nods at him with the hint of a smile) _At ease, Cadet.

_**DEELEY pats poor MCCOY on the shoulder as he relaxes slightly, but not by much.**_

DEELEY: So you're the beloved Captain, it's such an honour to have you here, Sir.

PIKE: It's my pleasure to be here Cat.

DEELEY: I have to say, we just saw one of the other cadets go through--

PIKE: I saw, and I apologize personally for his behaviour. But most of our Cadets are pretty well mannered, if not a little...rough around the edges. _(he gives MCCOY a sly smirk, who shrugs his shoulders a little, as if wanting to apologize himself for his mouth, but not really having the heart to do it)_

DEELEY: So we've noticed! So tell us, what are you two dancing for us today?

PIKE: Well, Cat, what we're doing today is called Lindy Hop. It's a classic swing dance, but it's a little different from other swing dances.

_**Cut to a clip of PIKE and N. ONE dancing outside, gathering quite a crowd of proud cadets to cheer them on. Cut back to the interview.**_

N. ONE: We were drawn to the style of the early 20th Century, because it's different and certainly not easy, but it's fun and classy. Good stress relief.

PIKE: And as funny as it sounds, this really is a little like a relationship. It relies on clear and honest communication at all times, and it takes a while to build that kind of trust.

N. ONE: Absolutely. So it's good for us for when we get in the work environment too.

DEELEY: Do you guys ever fight over choreography and all that?

PIKE: Not really no, we do it mostly to relax and to supplement our work routine, so we just go with it most of the time.

MCCOY: _(wide eyes)_ Don't say it, Cat, I see you're brain wor--

DEELEY: So despite the obvious chemistry, you two aren't actually a couple.

MCCOY: _(utterly devastated, turning red as he slaps an embarrassed hand over his face and shakes his head in apology) _You said it. I am so sorry, Sir.

_**PIKE and N. ONE both look a little uncomfortable but recover quickly in a dignified manner.**_

N. ONE: Not at all.

PIKE: No, we're here strictly to set an example and have a good time.

_**Cut to PIKE and N. ONE taking the stage. **_

DEELEY: Well! With that cleared up, let's get to the dancing!

MCCOY: I can't believe you just did that.

DEELEY: _(innocently) _Did what?

_**Cut to the judges grinning and standing for a moment in respectful salute to the two Starfleet Officers. PIKE and N. ONE get into position.**_

LITHGOE: Captain Pike and his Number One. Alright, cue music!

_**An old style, 1920's Earth song begins to play and they begin the routine with high energy, starting off with N. ONE sliding under PIKE's legs and him grabbing her, throwing her into the air. They hit the basic steps―which really aren't so basic―and are having more of a time dancing with each other than dancing for the judges, but the judges don't seem to mind as the dancers occasionally glance their way before going right back to enjoying themselves. LITHGOE looks particularly entertained, as does MURPHY, and MICHAELS is watching with pursed lips but it is clear that she is having a good time watching the pair on stage have a good time. LITHGOE cues the stopping of the music after a minute and lets PIKE and N. ONE take a bow while earning a plethora of respectful claps and cheers.**_

LITHGOE: Can I just say, Sir, it's an honour to have you both here.

PIKE: The pleasure's ours.

_**The crowd responds and shows agreement with more clapping and a few wolf whistles.**_

LITHGOE: I thought that was a lot of fun. Number One I thought you were absolutely tremendous, I had a lot of fun watching you, and I could tell that the two of you really enjoyed yourselves up there. It was a joy to watch.

MURPHY: You guys are terrific.

N. ONE: Thank you, Mary.

MURPHY: You have a great style, great technique. You know that one thing where you just threw her back into the sit drop, I mean, that just seemed effortless, it was like you just _flew_ right over there. And it was _great _choreography for one thing. Really great.

MICHAELS: That's what I was going to say, the choreography was really fun, really energetic, I enjoyed that, and it's a real pleasure to have you here to show that to us.

_**PIKE bows his head in a gentlemanly manner.**_

LITHGOE: I want to put you both straight through to Vegas, but we've had incidents in the past where dancers of this style haven't quite lived up to our standards in other genres. I want you to go through, but I'd rather ask you to stay to do choreography?

_**He looks to the pair on stage and to his colleagues, who agree with him with nods.**_

PIKE: That would be just fine.

LITHGOE: Alright then, the pair of you stick around for choreography.

_**Cue voiceover as the dancers in the theatre clap for their superior officer.**_

DEELEY: So it looks like the good Captain and his First Officer would have to wait till the evening in order to finish their audition, and they weren't the only ones. Joining them was tapper Carol Marcus, freestyle dancers José Tyler and John Watkins, latin dancer Pavil Checkov, and contemporary dancer Leila Kalomi.

MCCOY: Wait, Checkov? He can dance?

DEELEY: We'll find out after the choreography round.

MCCOY: I'll be damned.

_**Cue montage of dancers getting ready for the choreography.**_

DEELEY: It's the end of day one here in Los Angeles, but hopes are high as the dancers warm up and prepare themselves with a round of contemporary dance with Mia Michaels.

MCCOY: I honestly feel bad for anyone who has to dance for her.

_**Cut to MICHAELS on stage with a large group of contestants in 'limbo', trying to teach them her intense choreography. Cut to a shot of HIKARU SULU, who is picking up the moves rapidly and effectively.**_

DEELEY: Some contestants thrived in Mia's session. While others, like freestyler José Tyler--

_**Cut to a shot of JOSE TYLER struggling to keep up.**_

MCCOY: --looked like fish out of water. And damn ugly ones, too.

_**Cue montage of judges saying no to various dancers.**_

DEELEY: Broadway/Swing dancers Christopher Pike and his first officer looked quite comfortable learning a different style. But would it be enough to impress the judges?

_**PIKE and N. ONE take to the microphone again.**_

LITHGOE: Captain Pike. Number One. This is the final stop for the both of you today.

_**Though they look disappointed, PIKE and N. ONE accept the statement gracefully.**_

LITHGOE: I'm...afraid we won't be seeing either of you again until Vegas.

_**Their eyes widen at the revelation, and LITHGOE grins as he holds up their tickets, offering them a formal salute as he stands, MURPHY and MICHAELS joining him and clapping.**_

DEELEY: After Captain Pike and Number One had gotten the okay from the judges, plenty of cadets and other contestants who had made the grade followed suit.

_**Cut to montage of dancers exiting the theatre one by one.**_

CAROL MARCUS: I'm going to Vegas! _(hops up and down in her tap shoes)_

KEVIN RILEY: _(flashes his ticket and gives a victorious crotch bump for the camera) _Vegas, baby, it's all the rage!

PAVIL CHECKOV: _(hugs his ballroom partner as they both wave their tickets) _Weeeegas! _(gets his partner into a tango pose and throws his head back) _Ve go!_ (he tangoes her off screen)_

_**Cut to DEELEY and MCCOY standing in front of the Neo-Orpheum Theatre at night.**_

DEELEY: And so the first day of auditions here on Earth end on a high note.

MCCOY: Thank God it's over.

DEELEY: _(laughs) _But tomorrow we're in San Francisco to do it all again.

MCCOY: I can't do this.

DEELEY: Stick around because after the break--

_**Cut to a clip of MCCOY on the street surrounded by a circle of people, his eyes wide and disbelieving as he looks on at the dancer presumably in the center of the circle, earning all the cheers.**_

DEELEY: Find out what happens when we throw Bones to the popping sharks!

MCCOY: That's not very goddamn funny.

DEELEY: And later--

_**Cut to a short clip of a green skinned Orion girl dancing rather sensually on stage.**_

DEELEY: --things get steamy for our judges. All this, when _So You Think You Can Dance_ returns!

_**Cue show theme and cut to commercial.  


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_**[ COMMERCIAL BREAK ]**_

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_**Cue show theme. Cue montage of images including the San Francisco Bridge and the Starfleet Academy Arc.**_

DEELEY: It's oh-seven-hundred here in San Francisco, as Starfleet cadets and citizens of Earth line up from all around, hoping to come away from their auditions with that coveted shuttle pass. But the day seems to be off to a rocky start, as already contestants in line are accumulating scrapes and bruises as they attempt to warm up.

_**Cut to clips of dancers falling and slipping on the ground, even one consulting with MCCOY.**_

DEELEY: As our good Doctor, bless his heart, tends to some of the more serious cases, other dancers anxiously await the opening of the doors here at the San Francisco Theatre, just around the way from Starfleet Academy itself.

_**Cut to a clip of DEELEY bouncing anxiously at the head of the line.**_

DEELEY: Are you guys ready?!

_**There is an overwhelming response from the waiting line.**_

DEELEY: Then what are you waiting for!

_**The crowd cheers and files into the theatre. Cue montage of contestants getting their numbers and warming up in the lobby.**_

DEELEY: As the judges once again took their seats, the contestants filed in to the back of the theatre. But not all of them were homegrown--

MCCOY: Or any good. I saw some injured kids out there with more potential and skill on a bum foot.

DEELEY: But that certainly didn't stop our first contestant from showing us what he had.

_**Cut to a dashing young Q, warming up on the LA sidewalks in his red uniform trousers and a white button down shirt.**_

Q: _(sly smile)_ Hello Earth, you may call me Q. I am a professional dancer.

DEELEY: _(sitting next to him, interview style) _Though not to be confused with last year's winner, Q.

Q: Of course not, we don't even have the same name.

MCCOY: _(looks on in confusion) _That doesn't even make any sense.

DEELEY: So tell us a bit about yourself.

Q: _(chuckles) _Well all I want to do is show myself, I just want to get attention from people, that's all.

MCCOY: _(rolls his eyes) _Oh good God.

DEELEY: What do you think is the main difference between male Q and Terran men?

Q: Well, we're better. _(laughs as if to say that this was obvious and nods at the camera) _And we're hairy.

DEELEY: But you're not, you shave your chest!

Q: That's right I do. _(gives her a sly, almost sultry look as she laughs) _You noticed, huh.

MCCOY: This is ridiculous. _(gets up and wanders off to either go find a drink or someone remotely interesting to interview)_

_**Cut to a clip of Q dancing in front of the SYTYCD photocall banner, doing more posing and body rolls than actual dancing.**_

Q: I know I'll do good in this competition. And I'm not nervous to be in front of the judges. I like myself, and I like to share that with other people.

_**Cut back to Q's interview with CAT DEELEY, though he has now abandoned trying to woo her and has begun to woo the camera, showing off his physique.**_

Q: I know I'm not your type, but how can you compare to this? I'll tell you what, you just go to the gym, work out a bit and maybe... _(trails off with a suggestive smile and nod before sauntering off camera.)_

_**Camera pans to CAT DEELEY, sitting frozen on the theatre steps with a very saccharine smile, trying to remain sweet in the face of her disgust. Her eyes dart back and forth as she sits daintily poised.**_

DEELEY: _(laughs nervously and talks through her teeth) _I can't believe Bones left me here...

_**Cut to Q walking on stage to begin his audition.**_

LITHGOE: Another Q? Alright then. 'Q' music.

_**LITHGOE grins at his own pun as it gets a chuckle out of MURPHY and MICHAELS, shaking their heads as Q begins to dance. His audition is nothing horrible but certainly nothing spectacular, consisting of a lot of showing off of his physique and bare stomach, a few stray salsa poses and finished by shedding his shirt and doing some breakdancing air flares. MIA MICHAELS in particular looks slightly horrified but still amused, MARY MURPHY can't help but smile, but it is obvious she is not impressed. NIGEL LITHGOE remains passive. He gets a few claps and cheers for his final move, and he smiles and collects his shirt, making his way to the mic when his music is cut.**_

LITHGOE: Alright, Q, get your breath back. _(looks over his notes)_ You're a professional dancer. In...around...the Q continuum...?

Q: Something like that, I do not expect a mere human to understand, so yes. To save myself from having to explain.

LITHGOE: ...I see. _(turns to his colleagues) _Mia. How successful is Q going to be here on Earth? Or...in the Federation altogether for that matter?

MICHAELS: Not very sexful―_successful! (she begins to turn red, eyes wide as MARY MURPHY laughs out loud.) _Not very successful... _(grinning but mortified, her shoulders shake with laughter as she scoots away from the judges table and hides her face in her hands, MURPHY and the crowd of contestants laughing boisterously and clapping)_

LITHGOE: _(grinning and trying not to laugh) _Q I'm sure you know this, but that was what we would call a Freudian slip. _Mia._

MICHAELS: Yes. Yes, that was a...a slip. Um. I just...I don't think you're going to be very successful here with your dancing. But it's...my opinion, you know.

Q: No, but you are a judge. _(shrugs) _I recognize that your opinion does bear some weight. So, I'm not going to be successful. _(he says this with quite a bit of nonchalant disbelief)_

MICHAELS: The caliber of your dancing ability is _not_ up to par with what most people in the Federation, especially here on Earth, need to have to thrive as a working dancer. Do you find that shocking?

Q: Not in the sense that it is not of the same caliber, but in the sense that my own is the one not up to par, yes.

_**MICHAELS looks to MURPHY for support. MURPHY can barely contain her laughter.**_

MICHAELS: Um. Your floor work is great--

Q: I was never on the floor.

MICHAELS: I mean your b-boy stuff, your windmills.

Q: A b-boy? That wasn't a windmill, it was an air flare.

MICHAELS: I'm sorry, air flare.

Q: And I never touched the floor, just my hands.

MICHAELS: _(looking slightly frustrated)_ I'm just trying to tell you whatever it was you did down there was good, I _enjoyed_ it.

MURPHY: Just the last couple of tricks were...were good. The _rest _of it was...you know. It was so _weak._ It's not going to go any place, it's not going to make anyone get up and vote for you.

Q: Okay...

MUPRHY: _(laughs slightly) _Of course there might be a few people who would vote for you, I mean you're very good looking, but there was just no _dancing_.

Q: _(sly smile) _There was no dancing, I see. Okay. Thank you. _(begins to walk off stage)_

MURPHY: Hang on just a minute, you've still got one more opinion over here.

Q: I don't see how it's going to make any difference because two have already said no.

LITHGOE: _(trying not to look perturbed) _Now Q, that's called arrogance. Just _listen. _This whole show is about what we believe you can do in the future. I don't understand your look.

Q: What look?

LITHGOE: Smugness. Please explain to me why you just can't listen.

Q: I am aware I have to listen.

LITHGOE: Ah. Okay...because you're about to walk off stage, you haven't listened to the third judge. You don't know if they are going to say yes or no to you to continue in the competition. They've _just_ said they don't like what you did there. But that doesn't mean to say we don't like you, or we don't like what we think you _can _do. But you decided not to give us the opportunity of saying that. So that's pretty _dumb_ of you. And there is an arrogance about you, which isn't necessarily a bad thing; I think in order to get on in this business you _need _to have a bit of arrogance. _I_ would like to see how you do the choreography later.

_**Q remains silent but nods in appreciation.**_

MURPHY: It's a yes for me.

LITHGOE: Mia.

MICHAELS: _(starts to say something but stops and laughs)_

Q: Call me. _(gives her a sly smile, which consequently wipes the smile off her face, causing her to shake her head.) _I'm kidding, of course.

MICHAELS: I'm just going to say one thing. You would be _impossible_ to create a piece on. I think I would probably throw you out of the room within the first five minutes. You're a nightmare. _(laughs) _You are. Like _this--(motions between herself and him to represent the interaction)--_you're just like so _ugh. _But yes, I'd like to see you come back for the choreography.

_**Q claps his hands together and bows triumphantly before grinning widely and strutting around the stage, causing the judges to laugh. He embellishes and basks in thanking the "audience" of peers.**_

MICHAELS: Oh my God...

_**Cue voiceover.**_

DEELEY: As our little wallflower Q heads off to the holding room to wait for choreography, the judges called the next contestant to the stage.

_**Cut to a horrible contemporary audition that left MICHAELS nearly gagging.**_

MICHAELS: That was horrendous. Just horrendous.

_**Cue voiceover and a montage of more bad auditions, and one particularly unimpressive break dancer.**_

DEELEY: The morning didn't look promising at all as dancer after dancer failed to impress the judges.

MCCOY: Meanwhile, dancers with _real _talent were doing everything they could to stand out in line. And I mean _everything_. There was some crazy shit going down outside.

_**Cut to a montage of jazz and contemporary dancers showing off their moves out in line on the streets, ballroom pairs warming up, and breakers standing in competitive circles to display their skills.**_

DEELEY: Though I wouldn't put it quite like that, there's no question that some true talent was waiting outside for us today.

MCCOY: That's right. While _you_ were flirting it up with that Q kid--

DEELEY: _(laughs) _I wasn't flirting!

MCCOY: --yeah. _I_ went off to find some kids worth interviewing. That's difficult enough as it is, but I managed.

_**Cut to a particular breaking circle where there are Starfleet cadets gathered, clapping and laughing and cheering wildly as a cocky looking blond man, JAMES T. KIRK, shows off his breaking skills. **_

DEELEY: You certainly did. While Doctor McCoy was busy patching up some of our more nervous contestants, he managed to help out freestyler James T. Kirk with his awesome moves.

MCCOY: Oh are we showing this clip? Jesus Christ, we're showing this clip. God _dammit._

_**Cut to a clip of MCCOY and KIRK standing side by side, KIRK counting down with his fingers before starting into a popping warm-up as MCCOY looks on, his face twisted in confusion and disapproval. He blinks and waits a moment and then lifts his arms, mockingly mimicking the cadets dancing with spastic arm movements, causing KIRK to laugh and slap the doctor on the shoulder. The kids surrounding them clap and laugh.**_

DEELEY: No wonder Kirk was feeling confident.

_**Cut to KIRK, interview style.**_

KIRK: I got swindled into coming here, I swear. _(laughs and reaches up to scratch his brow) _No, I...when I heard Captain Pike made it through to Vegas yesterday, I figured I needed to come out here and make him proud. He's the one that talked me into coming to the Academy in the first place you know so, maybe I owed him a little. I just want to show people something they've never seen before. I mean, you see people dancing all the time, same tricks, same everything and I want to bring something new. I'm just a farm boy from Iowa wanting the world to see what I can do. _(grins and shrugs)_

_**Cut to KIRK on stage. After he grins at them, bows, and gets into position, LITHGOE cues his music. As the opening of the song warms up, KIRK takes the opportunity to get into a sustained handstand, displaying his skills of balance. The music starts abruptly and with each single note, KIRK―still on his hands―contorts his body into a new pose each time until finally his legs are leaning...leaning...leaning almost to the floor and he is still balancing on one hand. The dancers in the theatre cheer him on and the music gives a surprise kick, propelling KIRK to his feet to start his high-energy breaking and freestyle routine. He pays homage to the old school of pop and lock as he uses the beat to segue into jerking up one pant leg and popping his way into a series of breaker tricks. He displays a well-honed variety of intricate hand moves amidst various contortions the judges have never seen before. LITHGOE is grinning and clapping as he comments to MURPHY who is laughing excitedly. LITHGOE doesn't even stop the music and lets KIRK finish his routine with a bow, earning him a standing ovation from the theatre. MURPHY stands with them and yells for him as she laughs.**_

LITHGOE: Oh you got a scream out of Mary, Jim.

RANDOM DANCER: We love you Jim!

LITHGOE: Absolutely fabulous, entertaining throughout, um..._(laughs) _I loved the sock and the old school locking, thank you very much. Great fun and so many different moves that were just tremendous to watch.

MURPHY: Now _that_ was originality, you're such an entertainer.

_**KIRK grins and mouths a thank you as he catches his breath.**_

MURPHY: Yeah, I'm so glad you decided to come out this year, I think you really woke us up!

MICHAELS: You're interpretation of the music too was just ridiculous, in the best possible sense. _(grins) _You're a star.

MURPHY: _(clapping and laughing)_ Oh gosh. Jim. You're sick. You're _frozen_.

MICHAELS: Stupid.

LITHGOE: You're stupid!

MURPHY: _(screams) _You're _stupid!_

LITHGOE:_ (over the cheers of the crowd) _Jim, we'll see you in Vegas. Well done.

_**KIRK laughs and bows, shoulders shaking as he grins and shakes his head. Cut to KIRK rushing into the theatre hall with his ticket, doing his victory dance in front of MCCOY.**_

KIRK: Oh yeah, Bones, we're going to Vegas.

MCCOY: I don't want to have to deal with you in Vegas. If I have to haul your drunken ass out of another trash can--

KIRK: Well that's some tough shit buddy, 'cause it's happenin'. _(flashes his ticket to the camera and gives it a smirk) _Buckle up.

_**Cue voiceover as more successful breakers and freestylers take the stage with their unique moves.**_

DEELEY: So Jim Kirk made it through to Vegas, and it wasn't long before he was joined by a few others. With the success of our day in San Francisco finally rearing it's head, we're going to take a short break. Stay tuned, because on the other side--

_**Cut to a few more tragically awful auditions.**_

DEELEY: The day takes a turn for the worse...

_**Cut to another clip of the green skinned Orion girl.**_

DEELEY: But not without a few interesting developments along the way. Stick around, you won't want to miss this.

_**Cue show theme and cut to commercial.**_

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_**[ COMMERCIAL BREAK ]**_

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_**Cue show theme. Cut to the audition stage where LITHGOE, MURPHY and MICHAELS are sitting through another round of dances.**_

DEELEY: Welcome back. With only a handful of dancers straight through to Vegas, the judges had hoped that the day would pick up, but after the slew of successful break dancers, the day took a drastic nosedive.

_**Cut to a painfully white male on stage, rolling around in nothing but his white briefs, attempting what is supposed to be a contemporary piece. In one particular move, he accidentally flashes the judges, and LITHGOE shields MURPHY's eyes with a folder while MICHAELS lays her head down into her arms on the desk.**_

MICHAELS: Oh my God, this is a disaster.

_**Cue voiceover.**_

DEELEY: It's late afternoon before they are granted any kind of reprieve, with Nigel looking particularly upset by the lack of talent.

LITHGOE: _(turns to the crowd behind him)_ Those of you that are left, you better bring it, because this is not dancing. I barely even have enough for a show with this kind of crap.

_**Cut to an unusual pair of dancers warming up in the lobby: a young, dark skinned girl, whose pale partner has her leg held up in a split to help her stretch as she warms up her arm in port de bras movements.**_

DEELEY: Hoping to change their minds and win them back over was contemporary dancer Nyota Uhura.

_**Cut to traditional formal interview.**_

UHURA: _(smiles brightly) _I was born and raised in Africa, and my mother was really into acrobatics all her life, she taught me how to juggle and flip―which sounds kind of odd, I know, but it's all actually played a big part in molding me into the kind of dancer I am now. My grandmother was always the most supportive, so when I decided that I wanted to branch off and learn other things, she was there every step of the way. I began experimenting with a little bit of jazz and hip-hop, and some ballet, so I feel like I've managed to get a well-rounded dance education despite everything. Both my mother and my grandmother have played huge roles in supporting me, and keeping me grounded, helping me stay diligent with not just my dancing, but with everything I do.

_**Cut to pictures of a young UHURA dancing with her family. Cue voiceover.**_

UHURA: I stopped dancing for a long time because I wasn't sure of how it was going to play into my future, and it became a constant struggle to have to think about. So I started focusing more on my education and came to Starfleet, but I...I couldn't quit dancing. _(laughs and shakes her head) _I just...I love it so much. But this will actually be my first dance audition since before I came to the Academy though, so I'm a little nervous.

_**Cut to the informal interview with DEELEY and MCCOY, UHURA and her PARTNER sitting comfortably close to one another.**_

DEELEY: Look at you, you look gorgeous. _(she admires Uhura's simple yet somehow strikingly elegant attire) _Very professional.

UHURA: Thank you!

DEELEY: _(grins) _So what are you planning to do for us today? Rumour has it you've got a bit of a different audition worked out, haven't you?

_**UHURA laughs, looks back and up at her partner, who remains quite stoic in expression though he meets her gaze for the full, brief moment.**_

UHURA: I _guess _you could say that. I just wanted to do something different for a contemporary audition, but I couldn't find a partner that would work well enough, or that I trusted enough to get me through this, so-- _(she pats her partner lightly on his knee) –-_I had to wrangle, uh..._this_ one here into helping me.

DEELEY: _This_ one?

UHURA: _This _one.

_**DEELEY turns to the pale man for the first time and beams at him before gasping a little in surprise. **_

DEELEY: How did I miss thi―look at this, how wonderful. _(she points a bit sheepishly to his ears which, now upon focus, are quite obviously pointed) _Oh forgive me, that's so rude I'm sorry! I didn't think we'd get to meet any Vulcans just yet!

UHURA: You almost didn't, you wouldn't believe the trouble I went through to get him here today.

MCCOY: I can. _(smirks) _Spock, I didn't know you danced. How _human _of you.

_**UHURA tries to keep from laughing as the camera pans in on her partner, SPOCK, who blinks at MCCOY impassively.**_

SPOCK: There are quite a few things you are not privileged to know, Doctor. _(he turns to Cat and regards her) _And even though I am only half-Vulcan, I imagine your surprise and curiosity is only natural.

_**DEELEY purses her lips in admiration and gives him a little nod before motioning between him and UHURA.**_

DEELEY: So the two of you are auditioning together with a contemporary piece?

UHURA: Well, originally he wasn't even going to audition, he was just going to come and support me, but I think he's fantastic; it would have been a waste if he didn't indulge a little.

MCCOY: _(clearly amused) _Was that the logical conclusion, Mr. Spock?

SPOCK: I am not a stranger to the appreciation of art in all forms, Doctor. If anything, not only do I recognize the importance of paying homage to the great minds of the 21st Century, it would be illogical to bypass the opportunity of working directly _with_ them. Granted, this would not be the ideal situation, but please, if you can find another way to organize such a meeting of the minds, I would be the first to urge you to do so.

MCCOY: ...I'm sorry I asked.

DEELEY: _(laughs) _So is it just strictly dancing today? _(cuts her eyes suggestively) _Or is there more to the story?

_**SPOCK's eyes divert slightly, UHURA opens her mouth to say something but pauses. She recovers quickly however, grinning and holding her head up proudly.**_

UHURA: Strictly dancing, Cat. _(glancing at her partner with a hint of adoration)_ But his being here means the world to me.

_**Cut to SPOCK and UHURA taking the stage, then a shot of the judges looking over their notes for the couple, all of them looking slightly confused but they do not say anything. The pair get into their positions, UHURA on one side of the stage, SPOCK sitting backwards in a chair on the other side.**_

MICHAELS: _(mutters) _I hope this is good.

MURPHY: It better be or I'm just going to give up on the day.

LITHGOE: And...cue music.

_**The music comes on, a soft song but full of subtle rhythms befitting a contemporary United Africa. UHURA is the first to come to life, arms lifting, hips rolling as she feels her way into the music. Her partner is patient as he waits for her, though his shoulders are set back, already exuding a strength belying his size. A quick shot to the judges, watching intently, before the camera pans back to the couple on the floor, with UHURA now close to her partner, as if using her technique to will him to life. And she does. As she leans into him, he is all upper body, supporting her, lifting her, holding her as her legs stretch, pose, swing around and repeat the process, held high and confident above her partner still in the chair. While her movements become all emotion, his are all of support, but both exude the utmost confidence. Another shot to the judges and MICHAELS is blinking, shaking her head in disbelief as she watches them pull down into the earthy rhythm, a fusion of contemporary partnering and African footwork.**_

MICHAELS: _(whispers over the music) _She is gorgeous. I wanna get my hands on her.

_**The judges allow the dance to go on for more than the allotted minute, just long enough for the pair to execute a tricky lift. LITHGOE raises his hand, attempting to hide a very pleased smile. Dancers are standing and cheering now as SPOCK sets UHURA on her feet, and he is calm while she is pleasantly flustered.**_

LITHGOE: Come to the mic please, the pair of you. Nyota is it?

UHURA: Uhura, Sir.

LITHGOE: Uhura. Alright let me start with you. _(he pauses, as if not seeming to know where to start)_ ...you've got legs for days, don't you darling? _(he shakes his head in awe as Uhura laughs and the dancers in the back of the theatre erupt with cheers of appreciation)_ I couldn't take my eyes off of you. The _control_ and the discipline you have in your technique is phenomenal.

_**Cut to replay clip of UHURA with her side propped up across the back of her partner's shoulders and arms, her legs fully extended with utmost control.**_

LITHGOE: When he got you up on his shoulders and your leg came up, I thought wow, and was waiting for you to stop and hold it, but you just extended more, and it was _so _graceful and poised, magnificent.

UHURA: _(bows her head slightly as she catches her breath)_ Thank you so much.

MURPHY: Yeah, I have to agree, you are just a star up there, an absolute _delight_ to watch. Flawless. _Flawless!_

MICHAELS: I _just_ got done saying to these two that I have to get my hands on you. I _have to._ You've got unbelievable technique, but I feel like you've got just enough wiggle room in your style that you would be a joy to choreograph. You're like a―a little bundle of concentrated _amazing_, just ready to be diluted into all these different styles, it's fabulous. I love it!

_**As UHURA throws her head back in laughter and she earns more cheers, LITHGOE turns his attention to her partner. He is looking down at his notes, then shakes his head and lets out a short laugh.**_

LITHGOE: Spock, I was a bit confused when I read your paper here, I think I still am. _(he laughs and the other judges laugh with him, though Mia's eyes are squinted at Spock critically) _It says here, sir, that you're _Ballroom._

SPOCK: That _is_ correct.

_**UHURA reaches out and lightly touches his arm which his does not acknowledge but does not flinch from either. The judges share baffled faces.**_

LITHGOE: Well then for a _ballroom_ dancer, you dance a _hell _of a contemporary. That was _unbelievable,_ young man.

MURPHY: Yeah, I don't think people realize either how _strong_ you have to be to sit in that chair and lift her the way you did. That takes an immense amount of upper body strength. Now, I would have liked to see a _little _more actual dancing from you, but the technique is definitely there, there's no denying it, we saw it when you were both dancing in sync. Your main job was to be there for your partner though, every step of the way, and you were _there_, yes you were. I think that was where I realized that you had to have some kind of ballroom training, because this took so much partnering skill to just _get_ it, no nevermind how _flawless _this was.

_**SPOCK does not thank her verbally, but bows his head in acceptance of her statement.**_

LITHGOE: _(after a pause) _Mia.

_**MICHAELS does not speak immediately but stares at the dancer in question, a light smirk on her face that is not quite pleased, not quite amused, her eyes narrowed at him.**_

MICHAELS: ...I don't know what to make of you. I feel like the fact that you put ballroom as your style, and then got up here and danced contemporary shows this..._arrogance_ that I'm not sure I relate to.

MURPHY: _(scoffs) _What?

MICHAELS: Yeah, sure I liked it, I mean obviously. You had a fantastic partner, and you yourself definitely have the technique, but there was no emotion there from you. I feel like you relied too much on your partner, and I wonder if you even have your own style or if you just mimic what you see.

_**This triggers a small response from SPOCK; his partner visibly inhales a deep, almost concerned breath and holds his arm at the elbow, but SPOCK does not cast his eyes away from MICHAELS nor does he show much of any other response besides folding his hands together behind his back.**_

LITHGOE: Oh come on, now...

MICHAELS: No I mean, it's a legitimate concern, look back at season one. We said the same thing about Data, and it turned out to be true. But we had enough faith in him to give him the chance to grow, and he did, and not only that but he actually won. So I'm not saying no to you, I'm just saying I don't see it yet. I think you may have a lot of work to do.

MURPHY: _(mutters) _Look at those shoulders though. I want to see him do some ballroom. Mmm.

_**LITHGOE and MICHAELS both share a laugh with MURPHY at that, and a few female dancers in the back of the theatre cheer for that statement, causing the rest of the theatre to join in the laughter, even UHURA. MICHAELS turns to her with a skeptical smile.**_

MICHAELS: Is he any good?

UHURA: _(glances at her partner and grins at him) _I...yeah. _(she has to purse her lips as her dark skin glows slightly with a blush)_

MICHAELS: Oh good grief. _(laughs and throws her pen down, leaning back in her chair) _Alright.

LITHGOE: _(grins at Mia) _Vegas?

MICHAELS: Vegas.

MURPHY: _(screams) Vegas!_

_**UHURA shouts and covers her face with her hands before jumping over and grabbing her partner in an excited hug, hopping on him and wrapping her legs around his waist. SPOCK stands there in awkward surprise for a moment before patting her gently on the back with one hand, the other to the back of her head as she squeezes him. It is a quirky moment, one that causes the judges to laugh as the theatre erupts with cheering and LITHGOE holds up two shuttle passes.**_

LITHGOE: Alright, come and get your tickets.

_**Cut to UHURA bursting through the theatre doors, waving her ticket in frantic excitement, SPOCK following calmly in suit. **_

UHURA: We're going to Vegas! I can't believe it!

SPOCK: That statement is highly illogical, I am sure you were aware the whole time that our odds of success were--

UHURA: _(glares up at him playfully and wraps her arms around his waist) _Oh shut up and just _enjoy _it for God's sake. _(she grins up at him and rests her nose against his chin)_

_**SPOCK regards her with a raised eyebrow before turning his eyes to the camera, the ghost of a smirk on his lips as he cocks his head just slightly.**_

SPOCK: ...to Vegas.

_**Cut to DEELEY AND MCCOY.**_

MCCOY: Well hot damn, I really didn't think he had it in him...

DEELEY: With another fabulous set of auditions out of the way, the day slowly progresses as more and more dancers take the stage. But as things begin to wind down, so do the judges.

_**Cut to a shot of a green skinned Orion girl with flaming red hair taking the stage. The judges stare hard at her but she tries not to let it phase her as she waves at them with a careful, testing smile. **_

DEELEY: And with the day being nearly over, the pressure was really on.

_**Cut to DEELEY and MCCOY in the informal interview, sitting on the steps in the theatre with GAILA, who has he hands folded in her lap daintily, the excitement rolling off of her in waves. MCCOY actually seems quite enthralled with her, but keeps his distance.**_

DEELEY: Um, this is Gaila, and you are our very, _very_ last audition.

GAILA: I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing!

DEELEY: I think it's fine, you've literally just arrived, it's almost at the very end of the day, what happened? How come you're so late?

GAILA: Well, I didn't know about the auditions at all, I just barely found out about it. My roommate, Uhura―she auditioned earlier―called me and was like "are you at the auditions?" and I nearly died. So I hurried over here as soon as I could!

DEELEY: So why are you so desperate to be here?

GAILA: _(laughs and wrings her hands, glancing at McCoy as he shakes his head) _I don't know if you could tell Cat, but I'm Orion--

DEELEY: Oh really? _(laughs)_ I hadn't noticed.

GAILA: Well, there's so much culture there that revolves around dance, and I feel like the dance that I do―and people have told me as well―that it's very different. I'm not...trying to make myself out to be amazing or anything, it's just really different. And the people that have told me that, people that I respect, deserve for me to do something with it and I want to make them proud by accepting the history and the culture behind what I do. _(she looks back up at McCoy)_

MCCOY: _(nods slowly and solemnly in agreement) _Yeah. You need to be here.

_**Cut back to GAILA on stage, the judges barely acknowledging her now as LITHGOE cues her music. The music is a slow sensual beat, and GAILA starts equally slow, rolling her hips so subtle, barely noticeable, before lifting her arms in fluid, waving, popping motions. At that moment, MICHAELS looks up and blinks at her in surprise, nudging MURPHY next to her. GAILA gives the judges a small smile before moving forward, her movements almost like that of a still frame movie, fluid but full of popping and stops as she rolls her hips more and falls into a slow backbend.**_

MURPHY: Oh my gosh...

_**GAILA uses the stage, incorporating a bit of contemporary dance into her traditional movements, along with a few unique acrobatics that has MICHAELS gaping at her. When she is done she poses and grins for the judges, brushing her hair back out of her eyes.**_

MICHAELS: Sick...

LITHGOE: _(claps)_ Lovely! Beautiful.

_**The crowd in the theatre cheers and LITHGOE stands and claps while MUPRHY laughs and GAILA shuffles with a hop and a grin to the microphone.**_

LITHGOE: Absolutely delightful, I couldn't take my eyes off you. It was just a pleasure to watch. Now what sort of dance is that? I saw a little―was that contemporary in there, Mia?

MICHAELS: I think there was some in there, yeah.

GAILA: It's a fusion of contemporary, hip-hop and traditional Orion. I've been doing the Orion dancing all my life, but when I got to Earth, I started doing the other stuff, and it just sort of stuck. _(laughs) _Thank you so much, wow.

MURPHY: Yeah, you are just _captivating. _Let me tell you, you are special, unique, I think you have the whole package. You're just a star.

MICHAELS: Yes. _(she grins at Gaila who is glowing and grinning happily) _That's what dancing is. You're face just lit up the stage--

GAILA: I enjoy it!

MICHAELS: Honey, it _shows. _I'd _love_ to see you do choreography.

LITHGOE: As would I.

_**MURPHY nods and claps and Gaila shrugs her shoulders happily, waving to the judges as she hops off stage, thanking them.**_

DEELEY: And so it was on to choreography for Gaila, joining Q and other contestants in the holding room to await Mia's session.

_**Cut to the contemporary session with MICHAELS, who is harshly counting out the steps with the dancers doing their best to keep up. Cut to a clip of Q, who is not following the dance at all and has reverted to his own steps.**_

DEELEY: While Q doesn't seem to be able to take to the choreography at all--

_**Cut to GAILA who is floating gracefully through the choreography with a smile on her face.**_

DEELEY: Gaila is having a much easier―and happier―time following Mia Michaels' instruction. At the end of the day--

_**Cut to a clip of Q at the microphone.**_

LITHGOE: I'm sorry, Q, we're not going to ask you to stay.

_**Q purses his lips and nods, sighing and giving MICHAELS a wink before sauntering off stage.**_

DEELEY: Q doesn't quite make the cut. But will Gaila have better luck?

_**Cut to GAILA being called to the microphone.**_

LITHGOE: Gaila...you...

_**GAILA waits on the tips of her toes, biting her lip. LITHGOE shakes his head.**_

LITHGOE: I'm so sorry.

_**GAILA's face visibly falls and she rocks back on her heels, nodding and lowering her head. LITHGOE sighs.**_

LITHGOE: Oh, for Pete's sake, I can't do it to you darling, come and get your ticket.

_**GAILA'S eyes widen and she screams, jumping for joy and crying as she races off the stage and onto the judge's platform, giving LITHGOE a big hug, still jumping up and down as everyone still in the theatre cheers, and MURPHY and MICHAELS laugh and clap.**_

LITHGOE: You were just fantastic, go on.

_**Cut to GAILA bursting through the doors and screaming, as well as with a montage of other dancers.**_

DEELEY: And so the day ends on a relative high, with a total of 24 dancers on their way to Vegas. Next time, grab your shorts and sunglasses, because next week, we'll be heading to the desert planet of Vulcan in search for more talent--

MCCOY: Vulcan? Are you kidding me?

DEELEY: I'm afraid not, Bones, you'll have to dig out your Daisy Dukes.

MCCOY: _Shit._

DEELEY: Tune in next week for more _So You Think You Can Dance!_

_**Cue show theme and end credits.**_


End file.
